31 Days to Become a Better Writer – Day 1

If you didn’t know, I write. Not that often, but I write. I RP (role-play) on this crafter’s site call Ravelry. Ravelry is made of awesome. I would suppose that RPing counts as writing. But sometimes I write actual stories, but I haven’t done that of late. One would say…I need to become a better writer. ::look at title::

Alright, the thing we do today is this:

“Write five nondescript sentences.  Look at them again and re-write them to show and not tell what was happening.  Go over them one last time and pump them full of interesting and descriptive words to really drive your point home!”

And yes, I did put some Doctor Who quotes into this. I ❤ ❤ Doctor Who.

———–

Non-descriptive sentences:

  1. “What in the name of sanity of you got on your head?” she asked. “It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool,” he replied.
  2. I’m learning to knit on circular needles.
  3. I jumped on the trampoline.
  4. “Parked us? But we haven’t landed!” “Of course we’ve landed; I’ve just landed her,” she said. “But it didn’t make the noise,” he stated. “What noise?” she asked. “You know the vworp vworp vworp,” he said. “It’s not supposed to make that noise,  you leave the brakes on!” she said.
  5. My scarf is tall.

———–

Show, don’t tell:

  1. River look at the Doctor questioningly. “What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?” she asked, looking at the bucket-shaped thing sitting on the Doctor’s head. “It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.”
  2. I looked at the circular needles I was supposed to be knitting fingerless gloves with. The plastic circular part was annoying me to no end.
  3. I bounced up and down on the trampoline bed. My hair (taken out of its usual ponytail) bounced up and down with me and moved with the wind.
  4. “Parked us? But we haven’t landed!” the Doctor shouted. “Of course we’ve landed; I’ve just landed her,” River replied. “But it didn’t make the noise,” he stated. “What noise?” she asked. “You know the vworp vworp vworp,” he said, imitating the sound the TARDIS made whenever it materialized and dematerialized. “It’s not supposed to make that noise,  you leave the brakes on!” she said.
  5. “Holy crap,” I said, laying the scarf out on my lap, then standing up to compare its length to mine. “It’s freakin’ taller than me!”

———–

Shiny adjectives:

  1. “I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?” River asked the Doctor, looking at the red, bucket-shaped object which resided on his head. “It’s a fez. I wear a fez now,” the Doctor said. “Fezzes are cool.” River looked to Amy and Amy smirked. Amy grabbed the bucket fez on the Doctor’s head, and threw it up into the air. River took out her gun and blew the fez into smithereens.
  2. I looked down at the circular needles I was supposed to be knitting fingerless gloves with. Black yarn was attached to the metal needles. But it wasn’t the metal needles that were annoying (even though I don’t like knitting on metal needles). It was the plastic circular part that I couldn’t get to just stay where it was!
  3. I jumped up and down on the trampoline bed. Seeing my shadow, I noticed that my hair was: 1, moving with each bounce I made and 2, it was a little bit longer than I thought it was. Then I noticed that I had two shadows, one cast on the trampoline bed, and the other on the cool green ground below the trampoline. Crap, I thought. Vashta Nerada!
  4. “Parked us? But we haven’t landed!” the Doctor shouted. “Of course we’ve landed; I’ve just landed her,” River replied while messing with controls on the console. “But it didn’t make the noise,” the Time-Lord said. “What noise?” River asked. “You know the vworp vworp vworp,” he said, imitating the sound his wonderful TARDIS made whenever it materialized and dematerialized. “It’s not supposed to make that noise,  you leave the brakes on!” River shouted. “Well, I love that noise. It’s a wonderful noise,” the Doctor said, still sulking about the fact that River could fly the TARDIS better than he could himself.
  5. “Ho-ly crap,” I said, picking up my multicolored scarf and laying it across my lap. I stood up to compare its length to mine. Only a few inches taller than me, I thought. But I still couldn’t help but say, “It’s freakin’ taller than me!”

———–

Whew! That took a while! Please leave feedback in the comments! 🙂

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7 Comments

Filed under 2012, 31 Days to Become a Better Writer

7 responses to “31 Days to Become a Better Writer – Day 1

  1. Great job Mare! ❤

    #1 – instead of "fez on the Doctor’s head", try "fez off the Doctor's head"
    #3 – What is "Vashta Nerada!"? Very descriptive though!
    #4 – funny!
    #5 – instead of "to mine" try "to my height"

  2. Great job, Miss D! Quite impressive. 🙂

  3. I confess I speed read because I am about to fall asleep but you, dear girl, are a gifted writer! It’s a blessing to have you among us!

  4. I’m absolutely delighted that you’re working to improve your writing at the age of 12 – I wish I’d started that young! And I love your writing voice. It sounds very real and natural.

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